Episode 43: In Which DFM Hears Wooden Bells, And Drinks $9 Tea

Today (Tuesday the 22nd) was my last day of work in Korea. As I mentioned in a previous post too, today was also the Christmas "song festival" at my school all all of the students and teachers have been busy preparing the last couple of weeks.

Here you can see all of the teachers dressed up as "Santa grandmother," as they get ready to play a fantastic rendition of "Silent Night" on the wooden "noise makers" they have in their hands. Each "bell" makes a different tone, based on how long it is. I'm not sure what they're called, but they sure were a complicated way to make music.

After I was finished for the day, the principal gave me a nice pair of gloves and announced over the intercom that all the teachers should leave their classes to come say good-bye to me. It was all rather touching, and almost makes me wish I wasn't finished... almost.

After work I went to meet Hyenii and some other friends from MEC. Hyenii told me that she would not be able to come to the fair well party MEC was holding for me next Tuesday, so she wanted one last opportunity to say good-bye.

I'm not sure why, but we went to some area in Seoul called Sinsa-dong. The area is famous for its many fashion stores, which in turn attract many women. In the summer, the street cafes are apparently filled with women, and the streets themselves filled with men driving expensive cars back and forth trying to impress those women.

Part of the problem with areas that fashion themselves on being "European," is that they bring with them European prices. The Korean restaurant we went to was still as cheap as any other, but the cafes were another story.

After our meal we decided to sit down and talk over a cup of tea or coffee, but at the cafe Hyenii chose, the tea cost $8-$9, and the water was more than $10! I assume being from Norway gives it an extra molecule of oxygen (but not hydrogen, that would make it hydrogen peroxide).

While initially reluctant to hand over my $9, I was later relieved when I receive an actual pot of tea, not just a cup. Even better, the tea was delicious and I received a refill of hot water for my tea leaves. That said, $9 is a ridiculous price to pay for something that probably cost 10 cents.

Episode 41: In Which DFM Get's Dong-shimed, And Sees A Man Climbing A Building

On Thursday I thought I'd try to get a few last pictures in with the children before I have to say good-bye. While technically my last day is this upcoming Tuesday, I wasn't sure if there'd be time to take any pictures after today, since there is apparently a singing "festival" planned (everything's a festival at this school). So, without further ado, let's see how some of the Korean Cop regulars are doing, and also some new faces.

(MandDFM once told me that he's never seen kids look more happy to be at school than the kids at this one. I'm inclined to agree.)

(Poor Denny has his "V" the wrong way. I hope he hasn't unwittingly given me a rude gesture.)

(Daisy: always in good spirits.)

(Here's Yu-jeong and Ji-hee, from Monday. Thanks to the new reflective strips on the PE uniforms, if there's ever a car driving around inside the school these two will be okay.)

(A new student, Yu-jin - pronounced Eugene. Sweet girl, but she may want to change that name if she comes to Canada.)

(Min-seo, on the left, and Ji-hee again.)

(I used to wonder why the teachers were constantly tucking all the kids' shirts in... now I know. Thomas, how are you ever going to be able to work 12 hours a day for a top Korean company looking like that? Solid "V" though. You should go teach Denny how it's done.)

(So-yoon: A wolf in sheep's clothing if I ever saw one. She looks sweet enough, but if you turn your back for a second she'll try to "dong-shim" you with her head! She also once pulled my ear so hard she tore it open.)

(As dangerous to my personal safety as she may be, So-yoon sure is a great drawer, and she's super smart. Take a closer look at this picture - by clicking on it - and consider that she's only five years old. The princess is even winking!)

(Speaking of smart five year olds, here's Se-eun showing off her colouring. While it may not seem like much, she managed to write "kick" all by herself. I've known five year olds in Canada who can't write their own names.)

(Balance Boy is looking a little blurry, but happy as ever - I turned the flash off, so the image stabilizer on my camera had to work overtime under the dim fluorescent lights.)

(Seo-hyeun and Deborah working on a birthday card for Sticker Girl. Deborah isn't a made up "English name." Her parents were following a recent trend of legally giving their Korean child an English name to give her an "advantage." Supposedly top Korean companies will be more likely to hire her when she's older now, because they will think she can speak English more fluently than another applicant with a Korean name.)

(You thought I'd forgotten about Louis, hadn't you? Nope, he's still just as fond of getting his picture taken as ever, whether I'm trying to take a picture of him or not. Here he popped his head in front of my camera just as I was about to take a picture of the other children singing.)

(Time to say good bye. While I'm still anxiously awaiting my destiny to reveal itself, at least I don't have to wait for my mom any more like Se-eun.)

* * * * *

After school, Elise and I went to Myeong-dong. Myeung-dong is billed as a tourist point of interest, but I never had much interest to visit there before now. I wish I had. On this day Elise had to buy some shoes there, but I decided to tag along because I wanted to find a special t-shirt.

When I first planned to come to Seoul, I expected a modern city full of bright lights and shiny looking apartment buildings (something like what I imagine Tokyo to be). However, as I've mentioned periodically in the past, Seoul is just a collection of grey buildings built in the '60s (the decade where architecture goes to die). Myeong-dong is the small pocket of "modern Seoul" I thought I'd be surrounded by before I came here.

Myeong-dong is essentially a large shopping district. It has some of the most expensive rent prices in the world, and so essentially the only stores you see here are popular brand name stores.

One of advantage of only having expensive name brand stores here is interesting architecture. The most impressive store I found (although I'm sure others existed) was the Adidas Store. At night, this black store, with windows that look white from the interior lighting, stands out rather impressively. On the front of the store is a giant video screen about 10 metres tall that runs Adidas ads.

While I didn't get a picture of the Adidas Store, I ran across quite a site that I did manage to capture. Below, you can see The North Face store.

(Seems harmless enough until you see that, woah, there's a giant man climbing on the side of the building!)

(Take an even closer look and you'll that he's actually part of a fairly clever advertisement.)

As I mentioned earlier though, I didn't just come here to look at buildings. I really came to find a BANC store. I wrote in another post that I found one of these elusive stores in Hongdae, but when I went there last week to meet Scarlett it had closed. The search is over now though, as Elise finally helped me find a location still open.

(Look at the tiny sign, dwarfed by the sign for the store above it. Even when you find the store they want to try and hide it from you, which is probably why the stores are going out of business.)

BANC is a Korean clothing brand that caught my notice some time ago when I saw Seong-mok's friend Woojin wearing a t-shirt with an interesting looking Lego man type character on the front (Seong-mok, as I've recently been informed, is the actual name of the man I've been calling Seong-bok all this time). This is BANC's trademark, and they refer to him as a "block man." Typically the character will be a funny, original design, like a hipster character or a basketball player, but my favourite shirts are those that feature more famous block-men designs.

(Plagarism in Korea is rampant, so I wouldn't be surprised if BANC had not purchased the rights to the images of these characters.)

In case your wondering, yes I did buy two, usually overpriced shirts, but there was a large sale on and I ended up essentially getting both of them for less than the price of one normal shirt. DFM scores again.

Episode 32: In Which DFM Goes "Camping" With His Students, And Learns His Lesson (Or Does He?) About Trying To Impress Girls

On Monday, Hyenii (the English teacher at one of my schools) told me that I wouldn't have class on Wednesday because the school was taking the children on a field trip. My boss however later told the school he wanted me to come along (I suppose he was worried about all the work I had been missing because of the school closures). While I would have liked to have had another day off, and having to wake up an hour earlier than usual to catch the bus from the school was not fun, at least I did not have to teach anything.

When I showed up at school I was told all sorts of different stories about where we were going. Some children said we were going to have a picnic, while others said we were going "camping." However, where we actually went was a smaller version of Edmonton, Alberta's Telus World Of Science (The Space and Science Centre, for all of you readers who don't have enough fingers or free brain cells to keep up with all the name changes the Centre has gone through).

Playing around with a bunch of fun science experiments all morning was quite fun. However, it would be a waste of everyone's time to read about it since you really had to experience them to be interested by them, so I won't write about them here. After the trip was over I was told to go home on my own by the subway. However, I decided to go climbing again for the third day in a row. This was a mistake.

I don't think climbing three days in a row was necessarily the mistake, but after an exceptionally hard day of climbing on Monday, and an ego-driven day of hard climbing on Tuesday (I tried to impress two of Korea's best young female climbers who were visiting the gym), I had absolutely no strength left in my muscles (힘없어). In the end it (trying to show off) was pointless, because both of the women were better climbers than me on my best days, and I was already weakened from the day before. Long story short, no one was impressed (at least one of them complemented me on my Korean).

There is a certain route in the gym that consists of 100 moves. Perry told me that the Korean name of the route translates to "Once Around The Village," which is perhaps the best name for a route I've ever heard. I've completed this route on three different occasions before this, but on this day I failed to complete even the first 20 moves (힘없어.)

Despite not actually climbing anything of significance, and probably doing more harm than good, I still managed to waste about three hours at the climbing gym this night. I was, however, able to worry that I may have negatively impacted my ability to compete to my full potential at next week's (this week since I'm posting this late) Ace Climbing Competition. I'll have to wait and see what happens after a good rest.

Episode 23: In Which DFM Teaches Children How To Speak Korean Incorrectly, And Plans To Exploit Children For Economic Gain

Anyone waiting for an exciting update of my week will be disappointed. The long weekend made me realize how hard I had been working and how much I liked resting. Consequently, the first two days back at work were tough to get up for. However, by Thursday I was back in the groove and doing well enough, although all I did was work and climb and go to my English club.

The air pollution in Seoul seems to have attacked my lungs quite hard this time around, and I've been hacking up green phlegm for the past two weeks (I hope you weren't reading this at breakfast). It makes me appear and sound sick, but I feel quite fine otherwise. I'm not surprised though, as it was also after a month that I had a similar experience during my first visit.

Probably the funniest thing that happened this week was that I heard from Elise, one of the English teachers about whom I wrote recently, that one of the children's mothers told her that her daughter was always talking about me at home. While this was quite flattering, the girl also apparently copies everything I do and say (again, quite flattering). Unfortunately, that also means she copies my accent when I speak Korean. Apparently her mother heard her speaking Korean with a Canadian accent one day and asked her why she was speaking that way. The girl told her mother that "DFM teacher talks like that." She thought that I was an expert at Korean because I could play Korean "Rock, Paper, Scissors." Bless her heart.

* * * *

Every Friday I have to teach a unique class to each of my six different classrooms. While my job is to teach art, a previous teacher at this school decided to make this day a special day, which means I have to come up with the entire thirty minute class on my own with no art supplies. No other teachers for the company have this class. I'm not complaining, mind you, but it does make it hard to ask for extra ideas when no one else has any experience.

I've been managing alright so far, but I was looking for something a little more active than what I normally have the students do. Typically I just have the kids sing some songs, watch a few funny "educational" videos I find, and play some simple games. The "gymnasium" is about the size of your average house basement, so with over twenty students in each class a number of the games I would have wanted to teach are out of the question. This brings me to dancing.

For the past few weeks I've been toying with the idea of teaching country line dancing to the kids. I figured it was an easy way to teach/practice "left," "right," "turn," etc, and it was one of the few things I could do with the limited space. That said, I would not be using actual country music, as I generally can't stand it.

It does feel weird to teach line dancing though. When I was in elementary school I used to hate the dance unit. It usually involved line dancing, which I felt was so boring I might die in the middle of a kick-stomp-clap section. The teachers used to feed me some ridiculous line about how "we lived in cowboy country," and "you might go to a wedding and now you can join in." It was, of course, a load of rubbish. Even if I were at a wedding (which I also hate), and a line dance broke out, I just wouldn't dance at all.

I can say though, that the dancing went over well enough this week. I suspect this had something to do with the fact I only did it for about ten minutes, as opposed to wasting the entire 30 minute class every day for two weeks, like my teachers used to do. Also, I use a combination of Latin music, blues rock, and "oldies" music in place of the standard country songs. I'm even now thinking that with some work, I might be able to turn this line dancing thing into an Asian craze. Hmm... I could even take these kids on a World Tour...

Episode 19: In Which DFM Gets A Fever (That Might Be A Tumour), And Makes Another Surprise Visit

Last Thursday I developed a sore throat, and what with all my singing on Friday and talking with Kyu-rhang on Saturday I did not do it any favours. My immune system is exceptionally strong and I was able to heal up by Monday morning, but in the process of healing my throat it (my immune system) must have forgotten about the rest of my body, and before lunch on Monday I noticed I was suffering from a light fever.

My fever persisted through Tuesday night (perhaps I should not have gone climbing on Monday or Tuesday, and the hard climbing both nights probably didn't help either). That said, I still managed to get over 8 hours of sleep both nights, and even though my body had been sore all over, by Wednesday morning (today) I was starting to feel a fair bit better.

After work on Tuesday, I had asked my boss some key questions about his company's educational philosophy in the hopes of being able to modify my teaching style to better succeed in helping the children improve their English speaking ability (pretty much everyone's goal in Korea, for better or worse). One of my goals following the highly informative session was to increase the amount of time I spent communicating in English with each child individually. I should have started this earlier, because the results at school today were fantastic.

Until today (Wednesday) I had thought that with the exception of my one Australian gyopo (Korean who has lived abroad for an extended period of time) student, none of my children could speak in complete sentences. However, one six-year-old boy (Korean age, subtract one year for Canadian age), whom I already knew was exceptionally bright, absolutely blew me away. I had sat down with him and wished him a happy Chuseok. This is the unedited answer I received: "Chuseok is Korean Thanksgiving. It is a National Holiday." I have taught kindergarten kids in Canada and did not even hear speaking that well from some of them.

Another impossibly cute girl, was so advanced I took my personal minute with her to teach the difference between "who is it?" and "whose is it?" Considering the majority of her classmates still answer "I'm seven years old" when I ask them how they're doing, I consider this a major milestone.

....

By the afternoon I was feeling nearly recovered and decided to continue with my earlier plan to visit Summit Sports Climbing Centre again.

While I normally climb at Ace Climbing Centre because of the camaraderie and the uncommon (for Korea) focus on hard bouldering, I feel somewhat loyal to Summit because the owner gave me a present on my first visit back in March. During my last stay I believe I went to Summit at least four different times. Unfortunately, I have so far been far busy working every day to make it over to see Mr. Chang and my friends at Summit this trip, but last night I brought home my climbing shoes and shorts from my Ace locker in preparation for my big return today.

Just like my surprise return to Ace, I did not tell anyone at Summit that I was returning to Korea (I also did not want anyone to feel slighted if I did not show up for a few weeks or more, like it has been). When I showed up and knocked on Mr. Chang's office door - and he looked up - he nearly fell off his chair in surprise. It was the reaction I was hoping for, so the return can be considered a success. I did not get to see the reactions of any of my other Summit friends though because no one else I knew was there.

Although it seems that none of the routes have changed, many of the climbers have. Summit gym is located near a number of large universities and so the climbing population is constantly changing as the students change or their schedules become busier. Additionally, when I was here in April I was the only foreigner, but now there is an American (whom I have actually met already when he dropped in at Ace last week), an Australian, and another Canadian. I'm not sure if Yu-seok (sounds unfortunately like "You Suck") or Hyundai (his real name) are still there, but Mr. Chang told me "Bin" (whom I had met and helped climb across the "advanced" wall for the first time on one of my visits) had left on a one-year student exchange to America. Jenny wasn't there today, but Mr. Chang told me she still climbs there. Later, Mr. Chang actually phoned her up and handed me the phone without telling her it was me. When I told her who I was, she said, "really?" Followed by Korea's favourite English expression, "oh my God!"

That's it for today, but tomorrow I have my second meeting with the English club, and this long weekend is Chuseok (my schedule is already full), so there should be lots to read about in the near future.

(Note: If you read the whole post trying to find out about my tumour, it doesn't actually exist. It's actually just a reference to "Lowell" from The Kindergarten Cop.)

Episode 17: In Which DFM Gets Invited To A Party With Lots Of Cute Girls, And Later Gets Punched In The Stomach

Friday morning was a tough one. I had to struggle to get out of my bed, and when Namhee phoned me from Canada (it was Thursday night there), I discovered my voice was missing (refer to Episode 16).

I had big plans for my lessons today, and had showed up to school a half-hour early to prepare and set all of my equipment and materials up. However, no one told me that the last Friday of every month is when the school holds a giant birthday party in my classroom for all the children who have had birthdays in the past month.

With my classroom occupied (the only classroom with a large enough space and computer and projector I use for my classes), I had to quickly come up with three separate half-hour lessons with no art equipment, and no space. (Before I continue I should mention this is a different school than the one about which I usually write.)

Considering the circumstances I feel my classes were a great success. However, by the end of the day my throat felt like I had swallowed sandpaper. The children were quite concerned, and when one of them asked if I had a "really sore throat" in Korean. When I responded, "yes, a really sore throat" back (in Korean), the class when crazy ("DFM Teacher can speak Korean!"). They seem to forget that just two days earlier I sang the entire Tomi the Baby Squirrel song in Korean. Oh well, I never get tired of their surprise and joy over my effort to learn Korean.

In the past week I have been getting more and more confident in my ability to hold the attention of the children, and today I tried to teach the children the song John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. I attempted to teach this song to the children the first week, but I quickly lost their attention and the class descended into chaos.

Now though, I am respected enough as a teacher, and am liked enough as a person, that the children (somewhat reluctantly perhaps) repeated the nonsensical lyrics for me enough times to develop a minor appreciation of the song. Later, in my art class I actually heard one of the girls (incredibly smart) from an earlier class actually attempting to sing the song. It was a proud moment.

Another memorable moment was when one of the girls invited me to her birthday party on the weekend. I told her that if she got her parents to invite me I would come, but that if I couldn't make it she should save me a cupcake (the girl lived for a year and a half in Australia, so her English language abilities are much better than those of the other students). This is the same girl who, on the first day, told me that my class was boring, that I "was no genious at drawing," and that she would "never listen to me."

Speaking of birthdays, one of the five-year-old boys (Canadian age), who was one of the children having a birthday party in my classroom, wanted to show me his presents. When he told me in Korean that today was his birthday, the same girl who tried to sing John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt got mad at him, and told him he had to speak English or else I couldn't understand (I actually knew what birthday was in Korean though). It was funny, but some of the girls get pretty protective of me, and I have to stop them from screaming at the other students if they talk during my class, or if the boys use my stomach for taekwondo practice.

Every teacher has one student for whom it seems like all of his or her lessons are planned. In my one-hour afternoon "special art class," that student is a boy named Seon-gyu. Seon-gyu always wears his taekwondo uniform to class (I assume he has lessons after school), and he rushes through every assignment in twenty minutes, gets bored, and then gets into fights with a younger boy who is also in taekwondo. It took me a couple weeks, but I eventually figured out that when Seon-gyu is happy and occupied, life is easier for everyone (especially me). This usually involves finding an activity that has multiple pictures to colour/draw, something to cut and/or fold, and a lot of taping and/or gluing.

On Monday I had found a paper-doll template for Jack and Jill dolls. I used them today, and it was a big success. The cutting and gluing were easy enough that most of the students could do them on their own, and Seon-gyu's doll stood up on its own (as it was supposed to do), and so he was happy. Even better, it took Seon-gyu the whole class to finish his assignment so no one got hit.

Episode 10: In Which DFM Channels Sigourney Weaver, And Builds A National Treasure Using Child Labour

Friday was an exhausting day. Actually, the day wasn't exhausting, but I sure was exhausted during it.

On my trip to school I was so tired I missed my transfer station twice. It wasn't that I was sleeping either - I had looked at the platform sign and said to myself "okay, one more stop," but somehow it just failed to register that one more stop meant that I should get off at the next platform. Fifteen minutes later I did the same thing again, this time when I should have gotten off at my final destination. It was highly fortunate I had left fifteen minutes early that morning, because my two errors added twenty minutes of travel time to my morning commute.

When I showed up to school I was prepared for two scenarios: one in which I had to teach six thirty minute classes of my own material with no curriculum or help (like I had the week before), and one in which I would be told that I should teach the originally planned unit for that day which now made no sense at all since on Wednesday I found out the children were not doing that unit (it's too long of a story to fit nicely in this post, but not long enough for its own post, so I've left it out). When I showed up ten minutes before class (the train fiasco), I was told to use plan B (apparently the school had talked to my boss who then told them they had to teach this unit today).

Well, wouldn't you know, not everyone got the message. Although I was able to finish the lesson easily enough with the five-year-olds, since I had all the materials with me, the two six-year-old classes had none of the materials they were supposed to prepare for me, and so I had to make up a thirty minute "art lesson" on the spot... with no art supplies.

The seven-year-olds had the supplies somewhere, but the first teacher must not have known they would be needed either since they were not ready when I came. I tried to explain to the teacher what I needed, but she couldn't understand. We then tried to use a girl who had moved from Australia and could speak English to translate, but I'm not so certain she's confident with her Korean, because when I asked her to tell the teacher what I needed she looked sick and said "I don't want to."

Eventually, I was able to get across what I needed, and while the teacher went on a search for the materials, I tried to entertain a rowdy class with some songs and games. The songs were well received, though perhaps a little too well received - a few boys decided that it was necessary to start kicking other students. One boy hauled off and Tae Kwon Do kicked another girl for, as far as I could tell, was "no reason." Other boys were pushing each other and soon students started falling over and into other students. I stopped the music and even though the students have limited English, the Ripley Death Stare from Alien is apparently International Language for "you'd better stop if you know what's good for you."

When I did get the class settled, and the materials finally arrived, I set the children loose on trying to make Namdaemun gate with straws and glue. Not having access to a giant piece of paper, or straws, or glue myself, I could not do the assignment at home before I came to school. Consequently, my instructions were not overly clear, but somehow the students managed to pull together and make the famous gate (National Treasure #1). For the next class though, I started with some more clear instructions and the results were downright astonishing (especially since I've since done this assignment at another school with less spectacular results).

While my first class got themselves into fights over who had which colour of straws, or how many, my second class quickly divided into tables and seemed to be racing to try and finish first. I'm almost certain it was the result of good discipline from the teacher (or the absence of a few rowdy boys from the other class), but this class has always been a pleasure to teach. It could have also been that I told them I would take a picture of them if they finished.

Below are the final results. Keep in mind these are what we in Canada would call six-year-olds, and they made these creations with no help from myself or their Korean teacher.

(Starting with the roofs.)

(Getting an outline.)

(Almost finished.)

(Keep in mind the picture of the gate is upside down in this view, so it looks worse than it was.)

(Best pose ever. Thank you boy in orange.)

(Second place gate, but by far my favourite picture. This group had seven kids as you can see, but they worked together almost flawlessly and were the first group to finish.)

(Hands down the first place winner. This group's straw gate was almost better than the original version I drew on the white board at the beginning of class. I'm pretty sure that boy at the back walked through this picture on purpose though.)

To compare the pictures with the original, click here.

Episode 56: In Which DFM Gets His First Sunburn Of The Season And Is The Topic Of Another Speech

Tuesday may have been my last day teaching, but Wednesday was the day of the school's big picnic and I was invited along.  The picnic was supposed to be last week, but the weather did not cooperate so it go bumped to today.  Although it had been windy and rainy all week, the temperature this day was in the high 20s.

My last weekend must have really taken it out of me, because I slept in over an hour this morning.  I woke up in a panic and shifted into quadruple time mode.  Miraculously, I managed to make it to the school only ten minutes later than I normally do, which lets you know how much I like to take my time in the morning.

My job was to help the poor play school teacher with her four year olds.  All I can say is that one four year old is hard enough to control, but trying to keep track of fifteen on a field trip is madness.

After 45 minutes of driving and almost getting ran over by a dump truck, we finally made it to our mystery location.  The children spewed forth from the buses, and then the fun of sorting the 125 some-odd students into their classes began.

The teacher I was helping asked me to walk at the end of the line and keep everyone in order.  She never explained to me how you keep four year olds in order when they're still learning their (English) name, let alone commands like "stay in a line."

To make matters worse, Daisy here (pig tails, no bow) decided that it would be fun to stand in the middle of the road with the "brakes on" and make me push her along.  At the same time two other boys were going in any direction but straight. 

Eventually the three Korean teachers and myself were able to get two classes of four year olds together for some strawberry relay races.  My job was to take a seemingly endless stream of boys to the trees to go pee.  On the plus side I learned the Korean word for pee - pronounced "she."

This picture is the perfect metaphor for Toby (white hat).  Everyone is looking to the right, but he seems to have his own idea.  Good luck little Korean rebel, don't let The Man get you down.

Lunch time came around not a moment too soon since I had not had time for much of a breakfast.  However I was a bit worried as I had not been able to pack myself a lunch either.  But, the lunch ladies at this school are always looking out for me and it turns out that they packed me a giant Tupperware container of kimbap (a California sushi roll, but the seaweed is on the outside and there are only vegetables and rice on the inside)

After stuffing myself full of kimbap I walked around and said "hello" to all of the other classes... big mistake!  It seems as though every second child wanted to give me something from his/her lunch.  I got to the point where I couldn't eat the kimbap fast enough and had a stack of eight in my hand.  Eventually a teacher took pity on me and handed me a tray to hold everything (but not before she had a good laugh).

Sticker Girl (bottom picture) was up to her old tricks again and played another practical joke on me.  She called me over and showed me her milk bottle.  She pointed to the label and proudly proclaimed "see?  milk!"  I was very proud of her, and was just about to applaud her when she flipped the bottle over to show me the bottom where it became obvious that the inside contained some green tea like substance and not milk, as had been advertised.  She knew from the look on my face that she had got me, because she burst into hysterical laughter and I thought her smile was so wide it might rip off her face.  Touche little girl, you got me this time.

You may have noticed that the children have these ingenious chopsticks that are hinged on one end.  They allow for the perfect pinch every time and show that someone was really thinking when he made them.

This boy even had his own personalized lunch.  Enlarge the picture to see that his egg man has the same hair he does.

("You mean you eat other kids lunches?  Stop it!")

It's never too early to be an ROK soldier.  The two boys in front used the remainder of their lunch time to practice "going over the top."

It seems that children love to fall into holes.  Any ditch or mud puddle around the picnic area was soon filled with children making themselves dirty.

Some of the children were smart/strong enough to jump over the ditches.

Mostly though, they just got stuck and I would have to go rescue them.  In hindsight I think some of the children were getting "stuck" a little too often for it to be an "accident."

After lunch the children had some pictures taken (by a professional photographer, not just me), and played with bubbles.  Some of the children had to learn the hard way that when you dump your soap out you can't blow any more bubbles.  In Canada we would have coddled these "less fortunates" by giving them some social welfare, but over in Korea I get to just let them cry.  As MandDFM would say, "it's good for building personal discipline".

I'm not sure if there's some secret chain letter that's being passed around the World's kindergartens, but it seems that children everywhere love to latch themselves onto my legs whenever possible.  Today they finally managed to hit a nerve at just the right spot and take me down.  The little monsters showed no mercy though, and attempted to try and... well, I'm not exactly sure what they were trying to do here, but they sure looked happy doing it.

After the picnic we dropped the kids back off at school where most of their parents were waiting for them.  A few of the kids did not want me to leave though and took turns blocking my progress all the way along the length of the second floor hallway and down the stairs to the exit.

Finally they pooled their resources and made their Last Stand at the doorway.  

Poor kids.   One little girl (not pictured) actually started crying when I left.  I'll miss them too.

No time to cry just yet though.  After teaching I hustled over to Ace Climbing Center for one last training session and a chance to say "good bye."

Thomas and I had made a hard route on the roof of this "cave."  We were having troubles finishing it though so I did what I always do when I can't climb something at Ace: I called Ji-Hyeun over.  She flashed it (completed it on her first try), and even campused the last part (climbed without using her feet) on holds that were very hard to grasp.

What made her feat even more impressive too, was that she had just recuperated (barely) from becoming the first climber in the gym to complete a new boulder problem that had been created.  Choi and a group of the gym's tallest and best climbers had set up a hard problem and were taking turns trying to "send" it.  The men tried many times, but it was 5'4" Ji-Hyeun who finished the route first.

After climbing Choi took me out for Samgyeupsal, since it was my last day climbing at Ace.  Some of the other members came along and Choi gave a speech about how I was special to him.  He told me that from when he first met me to now that I had learned a lot of Korean and that he was impressed.  Before I had to leave he gave me one of his personal key chains - a miniature "Figure 8" belay device.  I'll miss Choi and everyone at Ace Climbing Center too.

Episode 55: In Which DFM Has A Private Concert Performed For Him And Finds A Boy Who Had His DNA Merged With That Of A Strawberry (The Fly Style)

Today was my final day teaching.

Every Tuesday the children in my first block class will sing a song to start the day.  Many songs have been sung over the last month, but my favourite is "Baby Squirrel Song."  I requested that the children sing it on my last day, but they outdid themselves and sang a small concert for me.  In case you're curious, "Baby Squirrel Song" was the final song in the video.  Astute readers can find Kindergarten Cop regulars like Minnie-Mouse Ears Girl, Sticker Girl, and Lew ("Balance Boy") in this video.

After singing it was time to get down to work.  I'm not sure what they were making, but it looks like a forest to me (hey, this class stole my idea!)  

Sticker Girl is in the second picture with a small present I gave her.  I thought she would be able to put it in her back pack and hide it, but she just couldn't resist showing it off everywhere and I got in trouble with the kids when I did not have enough for everyone.

My next class spent the entire block making "love letters" for me.  I told them my Korean name was Dae-ho and they thought this was fantastic.  Many of the pictures they made say "Dae-ho I love you," or something close to that.  Some of them just have wet marks on them though.

I even had a second class make me love letters too (the phrase "I love you" in Korean has a slightly different connotation than it does in North America and is used by everyone as a term of endearment between friends).  The boy in the second picture went for the "realist" approach with is drawing though, and drew me as an astronaut with antennae.  Later he put his hands on his head like antennae and bobbled around.  He called himself "Andy the ant."  I was impressed that he included the word "the," since many Koreans I've met seem to have trouble with the articles the/a/an.

The four year olds were still working on their strawberry theme, and were wrapping it up today with a "strawberry foods book."  Poor little Daniel just couldn't stay awake though and was practically falling asleep sitting up (I've actually seen a kid do that before).

The other four year old class made strawberry cookies.  I was honoured though to receive the first one.  Mmm... delicious.

When Koreans latch on to something they do it DFM style - they go all the way!  Here, the proof is in the pudding, and strawberry boys are that pudding.

The five year olds were finishing up their ant unit with a giant ant collage.  There were bits of magazines and newspapers, colourful fuzzy balls, straws, beads and sparkles.  But, because everything was being attached with glue, it wasn't a surprise that at least one child thought it would be a good idea to put glue all over his hands and try to stick them together.

For my final Special Art Class, I finished up my forest unit by getting the children to make a cover for a book containing all the pieces they've drawn over the last month (in this unit).  I didn't really think it through though, and the poor Korean teacher had to bind all the books by herself.

One final picture of Sticker Girl and Fight Girl together for "old time's" sake.  In hindsight, if I'd noticed Sticker Girl forgot the 'f' in forest I would have made her go back and fix it.

Good-bye school.

After work I went climbing, but today was a bit different because Woojin wanted to come along with me (Sung Bok's friend, not the phys ed teacher).  He struggled like all beginners do when they start climbing, but I was impressed with his determination and he lasted as long as I did.  He later mentioned it was something he wanted to get into more seriously, so I was happy to be able to do my part in helping to increase the dismally low number of active young adults in Korea.