Episode 42: In Which DFM Watches Cooks Fight, And Stays Up All Night

While last Thursday was just a final day to get pictures of everyone at that school, Friday really was my last day at my other school.

I haven't really talked much about this "other" school or shown many pictures of the children, but since I figure one or two of my readers may be interested I'll show a few pictures.

Here (above) is the class from hell. I have a class of four year olds who are possibly worse, but at least they are easily entertained. This class is two years older, and if they aren't instantly gratified with the most exciting games or songs, they rebel. The boys in the third row (second from the back) are absolute monsters and at times they made their Korean teacher leave the room and cry (I saw it). The girl in that same row, with the striped sweater trying to look sweet, spent a few years in Australia and can speak English fairly fluently. However, instead of using her power for good (like translating for me), she prefers to announce "this is boring, I'm not going to do it," even before I start my lessons. All that said, for half an hour, two days a week, they're my monsters and so I still love them and already miss them.

Here's Min-ji. This is one of the most independent children I've ever seen. She typically sits at a table by herself, and is usually the first person done any assignment. One time the Korean teacher who helps me out tried to draw a picture for her and she started bawling.

Some time ago I wrote about Seon-gyu. Here he is (on the left) in his Taekwondo uniform, as usual, with his partner in crime In-young (on the right). He looks sweet, doesn't he?

(Wham! You just got lulled in to a false sense of security and now you're going to pay.)

(Wham! You just got it again! By the way, did anyone notice how all the students in the background are working hard while Seon-gyu is posing for all of these pictures?)

And that brings us to Jae-hyeun. Jae-hyeun is a year younger than Seong-gyu, but they're both in my "special art class" that I teach in the afternoon. I believe they're both in the same Taekwondo club, and Jae-hyeun seems to think that this makes Seong-gyu and him friends. Seon-gyu seems to think otherwise though, and views Jae-hyeun as an annoying little brother who needs to be beaten up regularly.)

(Merry Christmas!)

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This day I also found myself back in Myeong-dong, for the second time in 24 hours.

My friend Hyeun-a was disappointed that she wasn't able to get me a present when I left Korean back in May. She told me at that time, that if I ever came back she would take me out to one of Korea's finest performing arts productions, Nanta.

First shown in 1997, Nanta is the longest running stage show in the history of Korean theatre, and it has also drawn the largest number of paying customers of any Korean stage production over its 12 year run. It won the best performance award at the 1999 Edinburgh Fringe Festival and has been playing on Broadway since 2004. But what is Nanta?

Nanta is essentially a show about some cooks at a restaurant who have to make a lot of food really fast for a wedding. There are some conflicts between the characters that prompt said characters to engage in "cooking battles" involving a lot of banging in an interesting rhythmical fashion.

As boring as I made it sound, it is every bit as good as it was billed, and was probably one of the most entertaining things I've seen in Korea. Was it unbelievably good? No, but it was much better than I expected, and surprisingly funny.

In conclusion, I had a thoroughly enjoyable evening at Nanta, so I feel comfortable giving Nanta the coveted "high five" award from DFM (the highest honour a person, performance, etc., can receive). It's so good that if you come to Seoul and you can only do one thing, make sure it's watching Nanta.

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After Nanta, I went to the MEC Christmas Party that had already started earlier in the evening. Since the subway closes at about midnight, there was no way for me to get back to my house afterwards (I didn't even know where I was, since I got picked up from a subway station). As a result, I decided to stay up all night and catch the morning train back home, but what I saw on the ride shocked me.

At 6:30 in the morning on a Saturday, in most cities, I would expect the subways to be pretty empty (I've not been to many large cities), but not in Seoul. The notorious Line 2 was again standing room only, and even more surprisingly a good number of the people riding the train were middle school students going to Saturday school.

I remembered reading that Korean children go to a half-day of school on Saturday, but I thought they wouldn't have to start until 10 AM. Actually seeing the poor kids freezing on a Saturday morning when everyone (including myself) should have been home sleeping, really shocked me. Though, it's better than having them hang out at the mall I suppose.

Episode 27: The Rest Of The Week

This week has been one of the busiest yet for me. I'm so tired I couldn't even come up with a clever title for this week. (I invite readers to suggest clever titles in the comments section.) That said, since I'm almost a week behind on my blogs I've decided to include the remaining three days of the week in this one post.

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Wednesday:

Typically the Ace Climbing Competitions are held on the third Thursday of every month. However, for some reason this month's climbing competition was moved to this Wednesday.

When I used to attend Ace climbing competitions back in March and April, there were a significantly larger number of people there. Both last month and this month though I've noticed that the number of people attending the competitions seems to be getting less and less. Perhaps this is the "climbing season" and everyone is off in the mountains, and in winter the numbers will pick up again? Either way I'll keep coming even if I'm the only one.

Readers may remember that during the last competition I won fairly easily in the Intermediate category. This month I was "volunteered" for the the top Expert category by Choi. I wasn't that concerned however, since I was thinking of going in the category anyways.

My biggest worry about entering the Expert category this month though, was that the Expert problems from the last competition were impossibly difficult for me, and even after a month of practice I could not finish more than even two moves on any of the five problems. Choi must have realised this, because this time around the difficulty of the Expert category problems was much easier, and more or less right where it should have been considering the calibre of climbers in the category this time. Long story short, I had a very good competition and managed to tie for first place in the Expert category (I later lost on a tie-break for having one more total attempt than the eventual winner).

* * * * *

On an unrelated, but personally exciting story that I will include here, I met Jenny from Summit at Ace gym on Monday. I had no idea she would be at Ace, and in fact I was planning to go to Summit this Friday to see her there. When I first saw her though, I said to myself "wow, that woman looks a lot like Jenny," but was thrown off by what appeared to be a three-inch growth spurt she experienced over the last six months (she's older than me though, which is why it's so surprising). I tried to go over and get a closer look, but at that time she was climbing on a wall and I could not get a good look at her face. I decided to put it out of my mind and went back to climbing, however later we crossed paths again and she seemed more surprised than me to be meeting up again in this gym. Apparently her business had relocated to the area, and I may get to see a lot more of her in the near future. (Don't go reading anything into that statement though, I know how you readers think!)

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Thursday:

After class on Thursday, Elise and I went for our regular, weekly trip for coffee. On our way to the coffee shoppe, Elise mentioned that she knew of a store where I could get my favourite Korean snack, waffles. At first I wasn't that impressed because I can get a waffle in almost any subway station. However, Elise insisted this place was special.

I don't know what the store was called, but in the picture you can see a large number of signs plastered to the window. The two large, full window yellow sheets on the left side of the store front is the nearly 100 choice menu. Keep in mind, this store only sells waffles.

I'm not sure if this is unique, or if other places in the world offer the same kind of deliciousness, but when you ask for a "wapple" in Korea you are not eating an Eggo on a plate with a knife and fork drenched in maple syrup. Rather, in South Korea the round waffles are quickly reheated in an iron, slathered on one side with a sweet apple syrup and then with whipped cream on the other. The waffle is then folded in half, wrapped in a small piece of paper and handed to the anxious, hungry customer to be devoured (click here to see this process in action). All of this is wonderful, and it takes place for less than a dollar.

Back to the story though. As I mentioned, this store in particular sells nearly 100 variation of these folded waffles including green tea ice cream and coffee flavours. Furthermore, there is a sign on the window that says "do not talk to us." You can't ask any questions, nor can you give any compliments. You are merely permitted to call your order into the microphone. You are handed a token with the number of your order on it and then you wait for you number to show up on the sign. Even when your number does come up you aren't allowed to say "thank you." The employee inside opens up a small window, holds out a basket and you put your money in the basket. Of course, when I first heard about this it sounded ridiculous, but when I saw it in person it was really quite funny. I will definitely be coming back here in the future to sample some of the other choices.

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Friday:

This morning I woke up completely exhausted (that's not new though), but when I looked in the mirror my eyes were completely blood shot (that was). My eyes looked like an Interstate road map there were so many red lines; it was actually a little scary. While I have been working less than your average Korean, it seems the stresses of big-big city living (about 14 million people in the greater metropolitan area) and trying to teach over 120 students a day who don't actually speak the same language you do have started to take their toll. That said, I've managed to make it two months working around walking virus factories without getting seriously sick, so I think I am still doing alright.

As I mentioned earlier, I had planned to go to Summit Climbing Centre after work today to see Mr. Chang and everyone else. However, the night before, my room mate Lee told me that Aeri, Hyeun-a's manager whom I met in March, was getting married today and that she had invited me. The incredibly short notice and disappointment about not being able to climb aside, I figured it was a rare opportunity for a foreigner to experience a Korean wedding, and so I agreed to come along.

Obviously I can't speak for the rural areas in Korea, but weddings in Seoul weddings seem to happen as quickly and efficiently as just about everything else. This wedding hall could only be rented for a maximum of two hours, so to save time the bride was on display in her wedding dress for individual pictures with guests before the wedding. There were no bridesmaids or groomsmen at the wedding, nor was there even a best man or maid of honour. (Correction: there were none that I could see taking part in the ceremony, they may still have existed.) The groom walked down the aisle first, followed almost immediately by the bride and her father. The wedding process itself lasted only 18 minutes (I timed it), and even that probably could have been trimmed down a bit more - I heard the old man in charge of the proceedings say "happy" more than once, so he may want to work on that in the future. After the whole ring thing and the official pronouncement, the immediate family took a group photo with the bride and groom, followed by a group photo with friends in which I took part.

Now some notes on everything else. The groom looked particularly handsome in his tuxedo, but the bride chose to wear the standard Victorian style white wedding gown that almost every woman seems to wear to their wedding. For the record I hate these dresses and consider wearing one to a wedding as a justifiable grounds for the groom walking out before he even gets marriage. They're ridiculously expensive, and show a lack of judgement that could severely put the family and its children at risk in the future. Not only that, they look hideous. The trail was so long on this one, that the bride needed a personal assistant to pick the tail up and carry it around and then replace it for every photo if she moved even a step. Do I feel bad for making fun of the bride? Sure, she is my friend, but I just really hate wedding gowns (and weddings). To be honest though, I was a little surprised that she wore the dress, since I figured this would be one of those weddings in which the direct participants all wore hanboks (remember those colourful outfits the kids wore for Chuseok?), but that must be a family choice and not necessarily a cultural norm.

After the wedding there was a massive catered banquet. This was the real reason I think I was invited along in the first place (by Lee, not by Aeri). While I was told not to take part in the tradition, every guest is expected to pay money to the bride/groom as their gift, usually in the form of $50 to $100. If you don't pay you don't get a ticket to the buffet. The rationale is that on your own wedding day you will be repaid by your guests and so everything will work out. Lee is not necessarily happy about this custom, and told me the night before "don't eat a big lunch tomorrow because I need you to eat lots of food at the wedding so I can get my money's worth." I did my best and went back to the buffet table three times (not including desert). Lee later thanked me for my "sacrifice."

* * * * *

On Saturday (today for most of you reading this blog in Canada) I was supposed to take part in a blind date. However, the young woman in question apparently got sick and had to back out. I wasn't that worried though as I really just wanted to spend all day watching The Young Turks radio show on YouTube (which I did).

Koreans seem to be afraid of interacting in a friendly manner with strangers (I really have heard Koreans say they're afraid of it), so one of the few acceptable way for them to meet members of the opposite sex to marry is to be set up on a blind date by a mutual friend. These blind dates are actually called "meetings" by the Koreans. I only mention that because it leads to a funny story.

For my work I have to attend bi-monthly "tutorial" sessions in which I am given the materials to more effectively teach my lessons for the next two weeks. (Actually, during the time frame for the context of this story I was attending them every week.) The meetings are rather long, and until this week they took place in a completely different city called Bucheon. Consequently I could never climb on a day in which I had a tutorial. When asked why I couldn't climb by the members of Ace I used to tell them that I had a "meeting." For a few weeks until the misunderstanding was cleared up, all of the members of Ace thought I must be the most popular playboy in Seoul.

Episode 24: In which DFM Steps Into A Time Machine, And Eats Diarrhea

My week may have been uneventful, but the weekend made up for it.

For starters, the latest Sasuke episode came out. This is a big event for me, because unlike the UFC which puts out about two big shows a month, Sasuke (my favourite sports event) is only run twice a year. During Sasuke 22 (the last episode), someone made it to the final stage for the first time since Nagano Makato achieved Total Victory in Sasuke 17.

This year was extra exciting, as 16 people cleared the first stage (I've never seen more than five since the producers completely redesigned the course for Sasuke 18). Also, three of the four original Sasuke All-Stars still competing made it to the third stage; the first time this has happened in about four years. What's better yet, the producers released the first Kunoichi (Women's competition) since 2007. I'm currently waiting for my download of it to finish, and then the fun will begin again.

Later that evening, Hyeun-A made the trip across town from near Itaewon to have dinner with me. Being the lady's man I am, I hadn't actually bothered to figure out where any good places to eat were, so the first fifteen minutes of our date were spent trying to find a suitable restaurant (in my defence I only had two weeks to prepare). Eventually Hyeun-A spotted a tiny kalguksu restaurant though, and we were able to eat.

Kalguksu apparently describes any soup that has heavy, thick noodles in it. Hyeun-A tried to translate the menu for me, but somehow something was lost in the translation, and I ended up with patkalguksu (red bean noodle soup) that was kind of bland, while she had the kalguksu that didn't look like diarrhea.

After dinner I took Hyeun-A for a walk along the stream near my house. I have wanted to walk or run down the paths next to this stream since I first saw them, but had not found that magic combination of time and specific inclination until this. I can say it was a big disappointment. I thought on a Saturday night the paths would be peaceful and quiet. Instead, it seemed like everyone with a bike or set of running shoes was out on the trails in traditional Korean fashion - neither riding/walking on the left or right, but rather scattered randomly across the width of the trail, making for a stressful night of constantly having to move back and forth.

What's more, where I live, I'm used to using the bike trails as a medium for easy, traffic light-/stop sign free-transportation to somewhere important, by way of some place beautiful. However, bike paths in Seoul are always built along the dirty streams and rivers, and right next to the noisy, busy roads, and never seem to go anywhere particularly useful. People just travel to one end of a straight path, turn around, and then head back the other way.

On Sunday I went back to Namhee's church. Like last time, Namhee's friend In-hye wanted to pick me up from the subway station. I sprinted up the stairs to our meeting point and noticed a small white car, just like In-hye's, parked in the same spot as last time. I got in the back seat and said "hello." I had noticed that In-hye had a different friend this week but didn't think much of it. However, when the woman kept saying "no, no" in Korean and pointing up ahead, I noticed that "In-hye" appeared to look about twenty years older this week. When I looked ahead where she was pointing I noticed the real In-hye trying to wave me down about three cars ahead in another small, white car. This event of course produced a hilarious story that would later be told and retold, by In-hye, to anyone who would listen at church.

Namhee's church's service is entirely conducted in Korean, so I didn't understand much of anything that was said. However, the songs are quite catchy, and the church kindly put the words on the overhead screen in large print giving me an opportunity to practice my karaoke (I believe I mentioned this last time).

Additionally, since I recently bought a Korean-English Bible, I use the sermon time to read ahead on whatever scripture is the topic for that day. Today's topic was about two sisters who are so desperate to have children that they get their father drunk and rape him, thus producing two sons who go on to father a great line of The Lord's People. I wonder how Rush Limbaugh justifies that one?

After the service, In-hye invited me to a youth session. There were dozens of University aged Koreans there, and surprisingly they all seemed to speak English to some extent (and many to a great extent). Never-the-less, I was called to the front by the pastor and I introduced myself in Korean to the gathering. As usual, this went over quite well, and made me somewhat of a minor celebrity. It also helps that I've learned how to say "I am Namhee's friend" in Korean.

After this meeting, and another "smaller group" meeting, an even smaller group of just the smaller group leaders went out for barbecued pork, and invited me along. I have to say this is the first time I have been out eating with a group of Koreans and I was the oldest person at the table. It was a little weird.

Most Koreans think that it is hard for me to use honorific verb and adjective endings in the presence of elders, but since I'm always in the presence of elders I've become quite proficient at it. Ironically (for Koreans), I have the most trouble using the "non-polite" verb endings, because I never get to practice them. (In Korean, the same sentence must be said in three or four different ways depending on the age and/or status of the person to whom you are speaking.)

(My new friends [left to right]: Su-min, Su-ji, Won-jae, In-hye, and Min-seon. Min-seon actually studied English in New Zealand. Consequently, she peaks with a slight New Zealand accent, which is really weird to hear coming from a Korean. A good "weird" though.)

The meal consisted of some part of a pig which I was unable to ascertain, as well as the skin of the same pig presumably, barbecued in the typical Korean fashion - at our table. The meal was delicious, and the meat seemed to keep on coming, and I must have ate through two servings myself. Everyone was impressed with my chop-sticks skills, and I of course told them how much I loved eating Korean food. I made a big deal about how much more I like Korean food than Canadian food, but when we went to pay the bill though, the stores owner told us the pork had actually come from Canada. Oh well, at least In-hye will have another funny story to tell.

Episode 18: In Which DFM Tap Dances On Korean Television, And Almost Gets Hit By A Car While Walking On The Sidewalk (Again!)

Last week I mentioned I was planning on meeting Hyeun A this weekend, but she was too busy, so I changed plans and asked out Kyu-rhang - a friend I met at Summit Climbing Centre during my last visit.

We decided to meet at Hongik University. In the past I've always heard this area referred to as Hongdae, but never knew why. It has only been recently that I've made the obvious connection that Hongik University's Korean name is "Hong-dae-ip-gu."

When I went to the designated meeting spot I found that every Korean in the area seemed to have chosen this point for meeting a friend as well. Since I couldn't actually remember exactly what Kyu-rhang looked like, I decided to walk around and try to look as "foreign" as possible. My planned worked, as it did not take but a few seconds before Kyu-rhang tapped my shoulder.

Kyu-rhang asked me where I wanted to eat. I had been thinking about this on my way over, and I figured that Hongik University (an area noted for its many foreigners, dance clubs and University students) would not likely have a plethora of traditional Korean restaurants. I noticed a Quizno's down one side street and thought it would be neat to compare how a Koreanized toasted submarine sandwich with the Canadian version.

To keep my experiment as scientific as possible I ordered the same size of Mesquite Chicken toasted sub I usually order in Canada. I'm happy to say that the ingredients looked more or less the same, and despite my worst fears there was no coleslaw in the sandwich (unlike my burrito with Hyeun-A). That said, the chicken was not as thick or seasoned as the chicken used in Canada, and the bun was made with a different kind of bread and was a little dry.

After lunch, Kyu-rhang and I went for a walk. During my last stay I noticed that my friend Woojin would sometimes wear a shirt that featured a Lego man on the front. I figured it was something he had picked up when he studied English in England. However, since then I have seen many other Koreans wearing similar shirts. When I researched the brand BANC, I found out it was actually a Korean clothing brand. On this walk I told Kyu-rhang about how I really wanted to save up my money and buy a bunch of the shirts with different designs, but that I could never find a BANC clothing store. She had just finished telling me that she had never heard of this brand (ironically most of my Korean friends have never heard about this brand), when we walked right past a BANC clothing store. I couldn't see any of the prices on the clothes through the window, but the staff person looked snobbish and disinterested, so I can only imagine that the shirts are overpriced. I'm not concerned about that though, as I've already started a secret stash of money consisting of any budget surplus I can produce each week, and before I go back to Canada I'm going to buy out the store.

We continued to walk around Hongdae some more, until we came across an old man and two women tap dancing. I mentioned to Kyu-rhang that I liked tap dancing and that one day I wanted to try it. At that moment, a man with a video camera who seemed directly involved with the show asked me if I wanted to come up on stage and try to tap dance with the man. Being a good sport, I said I'd give it a try.

The instructor showed me a few basic steps, and after a couple of minutes of dancing while I was video taped, the instructor said I was a good dancer and the cameraman/director interviewed me. He told me that the instructor was 70 years old, and wanted to know what I felt about a 70 year old man tap dancing. I told him what I had told Kyu-rhang: that in Canada people who are 70 do not do many active things, and that seeing this man dancing gave me hope that when I am 70 I can enjoy my life like him too. The director seemed pleased with my response, but I think he was just more happy to have captured "foreigner dancing with Korean grandpa" on tape than anything. Kyu-rhang later told me that the dancing was part of a special television show for Chuseok (a Korean national holiday in which families get together to honour deceased relatives).

After my dancing, we went for some more walking. However, it wasn't long before some crazy driver in a van tried to drive up and park on the sidewalk, almost trapping us between a building and the side of the van in the process. This is the second time I've seen a car driving on the sidewalk, and I figured that it was a sign that it was time to leave.