Episode 35: In Which DFM Helps The Government Of Seoul, And Becomes An Alien

Last Thursday Elise had to meet a friend, so we couldn't meet after work like we usually do. This week she tried to make up for it by taking us to the Ddeok Cafe to celebrate my birthday. The Ddeok Cafe is, like the name would suggest, a restaurant that only sells ddeok.

As long time readers will undoubtedly know, ddeok is essentially rice that has been compressed into sticky, chewy "cakes," which are surprisingly delicious and come in a variety of shapes and sizes. When you think that rice is eaten so often in Korea the name for "meal" is the same for rice, it seems counter- intuitive to then have rice for desert let alone make a restaurant to sell it. Then again, Canada has an obesity rate four times higher than that of Korea, and the restaurant was packed.

After the one week remembrance celebration of my last birthday I went to Ace to take part in the November climbing competition. Unfortunately I forgot that I had taken my shoes home last Wednesday to climb at Summit and that they were under my bed when I left in the morning. Ji-hyeun was kind enough to let me borrow a pair of rental shoes from the gym, but I think they were about a decade old, and the soles had started to petrify. Needless to say, it wasn't the best competition I've ever had, but it was fun nonetheless.

* * * * *

On Friday I finally got around to picking up my Alien Registration Card (ARC), which was supposed to have finished processing on Monday, but I was too busy all week to pick it up. Actually, I was not too busy, I just didn't want to go.

After picking up my registration card I was asked by a woman to fill out a survey about the experience of foreigners in Korea. I had read the results of this same survey given in spring, and I wasn't sure how six months could make a big difference.

While taking the survey I did notice some flaws though. It took me about half an hour to complete because I actually thought carefully about each question, but after I finished I was left wanting to answer more questions. For instance, how can I accurately give my opinion on the quality of "living in Korea" when the category involves water quality, neighbourhood cleanliness, house quality, etc.? I love the neighbourhoods, and while the houses are small, Americans and Canadians are spoiled with the mini-mansions they call bungalows anyway. However, the tap water literally disintegrates my gums and I've had to be extra careful about not using the tap water to brush my teeth. If I want to give high marks for the cleanliness of the streets and low marks for water quality, how can I do that without averaging the two scores out and making it look like nothing was overly good or overly bad?

And then there was the section for "comments," which didn't exist. I'm not sure how the government is going to know how foreigners think the problems can be solved if they don't let us tell them. After all, surveys don't fix problems by themselves.

My night wasn't done there though. You may remember the MEC Chuseok party back in October when we went to Paju. At the end of that night, Vanilla's swing dancing instructor friend gave us all an introductory lesson to swing dancing. Well, today he was throwing a party at his house, and so Hyenii and I decided to accept his invitation (I'm always up for Korean food).

Hyenii had followed me to the Immigration Office so that she could come with me to the party. I asked her if she could find any signs for the Immigration Office leading up to it from the subway. She could only find one tiny sign in Korean, on the large sign out front, with fifteen other small signs for other companies in the building surrounding it, but nothing leading up to the building that would give us directions as I expected, and yes I'm still bitter about it.

Speaking of bitter, the trip to the party would have taken less than half an hour on the subway, but Vanilla insisted on driving in her car because she didn't like the smell of the people on the subway. I'm not trying to single out Vanilla here, or even Koreans. This is a world-wide problem that I absolutely hate. It seems that as soon as someone makes a little money, he/she all of a sudden thinks that he/she is too good for public transportation. Well, listen people, you're not too good, in fact driving your car in a city with what I consider the World's best public transportation system makes you nothing but a douche bag. That half-hour trip in her car car wound up taking over an hour and a half, because about a million other douche bags decided that they absolutely needed to drive their cars too.

As for the party, it was of course great, once we finally got there. Delicious Korean food + Korean friends has been a recipe for success that has never failed my since I first got lost and taken out for dinner way back in March, and it didn't start now.

Episode 21: In Which Artists Try To Rob DFM, And Astro Boy Gives Him A Rude Gesture

Today (Friday) was the first day of my first Chuseok holiday. Last Thursday, some members of the English club (henceforth to be referred to as MEC) had decided to meet today for some fun and adventure. Being a lover of fun and adventure myself, I accepted the invitation to come along.

(Our group [left to right, back to front]: Grace, Sally, Tom, Hyenii, Vanilla (yes, that's her real [English] name), Ricky, I can't remember the name of the next woman with the green hoody even though I asked her twice [this is the look of letters when they are typed in shame], and finally some guy who isn't actually part of MEC and doesn't speak English either.)

Originally I had thought we were going to some mountain near the 38th parallel to peer into North Korea using high powered binoculars. However, I guess plans had changed, because when the car stopped we were at the English Village in Paju.

English Villages first came to Korea in 2004 from Spain and Italy. The goal of an English Village is to help give Korean children a chance to improve their English language skills through month long, live-in immersion camps, without having to leave Korea (thus keeping more money in Korea). Over 100 foreign teachers are employed to give the camp an authentic feel, and the "town" also has many post office, hospital, city hall, etc. type buildings to give a more authentic role playing opportunity for the children.

When we went to the English Village there wasn't much to see, as the teachers had all been given a week long holiday, and so many of them had gone to Bali or Thailand. Oddly enough, of the five or so teachers who had stayed one of them was Tom. Tom is a teacher from New Zealand that I had met at Ace Climbing Gym last week. I had remembered he told me about his job at the English Village in Paju, so I was wondering if I would see him. However, given the circumstances it was a pretty big coincidence that we ran into each other.

MEC is led by Tom (the Korean Tom in the photo above). And while we were walking through the streets of the English Village, Tom asked me if the houses reminded me of Canadian houses. To be honest, the houses and "stores" looked like something I might see in Disneyland, but even so they did not look Canadian. I told Tom that if anything the houses and street were modelled upon a town in Great Britain, as I had seen very similar lamp posts and street clocks in Edinburgh during my trip there in 2008.

About the only thing worth seeing at the English Village (on this day) was this amphitheatre that overlooked an artificial pond. The weather was as nice as it looks in this picture, and the pond was home to many "water skaters" that I happily watched for some minutes.

After we had seen all of the buildings in the town we went back to have some truly mediocre pizza and spaghetti at the town Pizza and Spaghetti Shop. Then after lunch, Tom broke out the Uno package he had bought, and I prepared to do battle in the most intense game of Uno ever.

While the game was friendly enough, and no one tried to cheat, per se, some of the Koreans' interpretations of appropriate protocol were different than what I'm used to. Grace, who was sitting next to me, was constantly trying to peer over my shoulder to see what cards I had, and every time Tom tried to "help out" by handing out 2 or 4 cards to an opponent who had just received a "Pick up Two" or "Pick up Four" card, he would look at the cards he had just picked up. I learned quite early to "help" myself whenever I needed more cards.

After Ricky won the hard fought Uno game, we moved over to the nearby HEYRI Art Valley. HEYRI Art Valley was was built in 1997, with the goal of creating a place where artists of different genres can gather to communicate with each other and the public. All I saw though, were a bunch of over-priced art stores and cafes that sold $5 2-inch by 2-inch squares of cake.

The one bright spot at the HYERI Art Valley was the toy museum. For the price of a piece of HYERI Art Valley cake I was able to explore 2 of the 3 floors (I had to pay an extra $2 to see Sponge Bob on the third floor), filled with quite probably thousands of toys of all sorts and sizes. Below are some pictures of my favourites.

(It's the underwater Lotus Elise from "The Spy Who Loved Me.")

("Marty, you're not thinking fourth-dimensionally.")

(I suggest clicking on the picture to zoom in and get a clearer view. Bonus points if you can guess the yellow toy to the left, just barely in the shot. Check the last picture for the answer.)

(The Nike Free shoe in front actually turns into the Transformer behind it. Zoom in on the image and look at the robot's wings. They're in the shape of a shoe and you can see the laces hanging down.)

("Go, go Gadget Pop Pen!")

(Long time readers will already know about my love for Astro Boy - I've already taken out a membership in NAMBLA - but I was overwhelmingly over joyed by this find. What's hilarious, is that it looks like Atom - his name in Korea - is making a rude gesture. However, the hours I spent watching Sasuke have not been wasted, and I think that in Japan this is considered a sign of self congratulations - like pumping one's fist in the air - since I have seen many competitors on that show use this same action when they have completed a stage in an impressive fashion.)

(The life-sized robots were a hit with everyone.)

(What toy museum worth its robots would be caught dead without a 1/24 scale Hyundai Pony model car tucked away behind a glass pane and some other boxes?)

(Do you remember my question at the top, about what the toy beside the T-1000 skull? If you said "Ripley's exo-skeleton from Alien," then congratulations, because you're the biggest nerd in the world.)

For supper we all went out for duck. It was my first time having duck and I was curious about how it would taste. Duck tastes a lot like really tender chicken actually, and was by no means anything less than delicious. However, I found that I preferred the pork dishes at our meal to the duck, perhaps because of the thicker and firmer texture.

After dinner, we were treated to an impromptu swing dance lesson by a friend of Vanilla's. Apparently she takes swing dance lessons and had invited the instructor to our meal. The instructor said I was a good dancer, but I was more pleased that I could understand enough of the words in his Korean directions to figure out what he was telling me.

Episode 20: In Which DFM "Invents" A Korean Traditional Game, And Watches A Korean Stick Fighting Contest

Thursday was the last day of work this week before the Chuseok long weekend. The children had been busy all week preparing masks and other crafts in their classes in expectation of the important holiday. Today they had a chance to enjoy themselves by wearing their hanboks, eating traditional snacks, and playing many traditional games. While it was great fun for the kids, I've noticed that any time children get to enjoy themselves at school it usually means the poor teachers have to work extra hard to control all of the wild screaming "monsters," and by the end of the day they look exhausted.

As mentioned earlier, there were lots of traditional games being played, including the folded paper Pogs game, and Koosh ball hacky sack, I played played on my first visit. There was also "Korean hopscotch" and the timeless (and apparently borderless) "roll the hoop with the stick" game.

I did not get to enjoy any of those games though, because I was told to stay upstairs on the outdoor, second floor playground all day (the other games were in other areas). The games being played there were the "throw the wooden darts in the bucket" - also featured in my earlier blog post linked above - and a new game I'd never seen before, in which participants try to carry wood blocks on any part of their body (other than in their hands) a pre-determined distance and then drop them at other wooden blocks, standing on edge on the ground, in an attempt to knock these second blocks over (this will now be referred to as "Korean bowling" - a name I just made up - but note that many Koreans already participate in modern bowling).

Up until now I have included very few pictures in my posts compared with my last visit. I realise this, and today I will make it up to you with a super smorgasbord of pictures, including many with your favourite students from past blog posts.

(That's Giant-Micky-Mouse-Ears Girl on the right)

(That little girl who used to stare at me from the top of the stairs.)

(He was actually posing this way for me, of his own volition too.)

(You might remember the shining face on the left as Fight Girl.)

(I'm not sure who this boy is, but if you make a face like that you're going to get on the blog.)

(It's Thomas!)

(Lew - Balance Boy - says "hello.")

One of the games the kids were supposed to play involved throwing wooden darts from behind a red line into a wooden bucket. The darts have hard tips and bounce out of the bucket if you don't throw them just right, so the game is harder than it looks. Here (below) some boys shows us how it's done.

(Lew actually makes a "score" with this shot. I can't remember what it's called when you get the arrow in the bucket though.)

"Throw the wooden arrows in the wooden bucket" (actual name, tuho) game takes patience, and some boys at the school have trouble with games like that (can you believe it?). Below, Lewis (Taekwondo Boy), gets a little too exuberant with his throw. Also, note how close he is to the bucket which is actually being held up by another boy to give him a better target.

(Lew is in the orange pants.)

Other boys though forgot the bucket all together and just had stick fights with each other.

As mentioned earlier in this post, the children were also playing "Korean bowling." The easiest method to carry the block to the goal and dump it accurately, resulting in the necessary toppling of the "pin," was to use the back of your wrist. Sticker Girl shows us how below.

Some of children tried some harder methods, including using their head and shoulders. I was able to even use my thigh. The boy below definitely found the hardest method though. He tried to carry one block on the top of each of his shoes.

The hanboks definitely looked cute, but I'm not sure about the wisdom of sending children to school to play in silk clothes that cost a lot of money. You might have this happen...

Or this...

(Yup, he's crawling on the wooden playground equipment.)

Not to mention this...

(Thomas and friends make sure that the sandbox is still fun to play in, even when you're wearing a hanbok.)

While I'm sure many of you noticed that Louis was not present in any of the pictures, it's not because I didn't want to show him. I'm not sure where he was during my time with his class, but later in the day I saw him running around his classroom in his underwear trying to get in a fight with another boy, so I can only assume he was probably off getting into some sort of mischief.

Episode 18: In Which DFM Tap Dances On Korean Television, And Almost Gets Hit By A Car While Walking On The Sidewalk (Again!)

Last week I mentioned I was planning on meeting Hyeun A this weekend, but she was too busy, so I changed plans and asked out Kyu-rhang - a friend I met at Summit Climbing Centre during my last visit.

We decided to meet at Hongik University. In the past I've always heard this area referred to as Hongdae, but never knew why. It has only been recently that I've made the obvious connection that Hongik University's Korean name is "Hong-dae-ip-gu."

When I went to the designated meeting spot I found that every Korean in the area seemed to have chosen this point for meeting a friend as well. Since I couldn't actually remember exactly what Kyu-rhang looked like, I decided to walk around and try to look as "foreign" as possible. My planned worked, as it did not take but a few seconds before Kyu-rhang tapped my shoulder.

Kyu-rhang asked me where I wanted to eat. I had been thinking about this on my way over, and I figured that Hongik University (an area noted for its many foreigners, dance clubs and University students) would not likely have a plethora of traditional Korean restaurants. I noticed a Quizno's down one side street and thought it would be neat to compare how a Koreanized toasted submarine sandwich with the Canadian version.

To keep my experiment as scientific as possible I ordered the same size of Mesquite Chicken toasted sub I usually order in Canada. I'm happy to say that the ingredients looked more or less the same, and despite my worst fears there was no coleslaw in the sandwich (unlike my burrito with Hyeun-A). That said, the chicken was not as thick or seasoned as the chicken used in Canada, and the bun was made with a different kind of bread and was a little dry.

After lunch, Kyu-rhang and I went for a walk. During my last stay I noticed that my friend Woojin would sometimes wear a shirt that featured a Lego man on the front. I figured it was something he had picked up when he studied English in England. However, since then I have seen many other Koreans wearing similar shirts. When I researched the brand BANC, I found out it was actually a Korean clothing brand. On this walk I told Kyu-rhang about how I really wanted to save up my money and buy a bunch of the shirts with different designs, but that I could never find a BANC clothing store. She had just finished telling me that she had never heard of this brand (ironically most of my Korean friends have never heard about this brand), when we walked right past a BANC clothing store. I couldn't see any of the prices on the clothes through the window, but the staff person looked snobbish and disinterested, so I can only imagine that the shirts are overpriced. I'm not concerned about that though, as I've already started a secret stash of money consisting of any budget surplus I can produce each week, and before I go back to Canada I'm going to buy out the store.

We continued to walk around Hongdae some more, until we came across an old man and two women tap dancing. I mentioned to Kyu-rhang that I liked tap dancing and that one day I wanted to try it. At that moment, a man with a video camera who seemed directly involved with the show asked me if I wanted to come up on stage and try to tap dance with the man. Being a good sport, I said I'd give it a try.

The instructor showed me a few basic steps, and after a couple of minutes of dancing while I was video taped, the instructor said I was a good dancer and the cameraman/director interviewed me. He told me that the instructor was 70 years old, and wanted to know what I felt about a 70 year old man tap dancing. I told him what I had told Kyu-rhang: that in Canada people who are 70 do not do many active things, and that seeing this man dancing gave me hope that when I am 70 I can enjoy my life like him too. The director seemed pleased with my response, but I think he was just more happy to have captured "foreigner dancing with Korean grandpa" on tape than anything. Kyu-rhang later told me that the dancing was part of a special television show for Chuseok (a Korean national holiday in which families get together to honour deceased relatives).

After my dancing, we went for some more walking. However, it wasn't long before some crazy driver in a van tried to drive up and park on the sidewalk, almost trapping us between a building and the side of the van in the process. This is the second time I've seen a car driving on the sidewalk, and I figured that it was a sign that it was time to leave.