Episode 40: In Which DFM Climbs With A Korean Pro, And Tries Not To Fall On His Face

Today (Saturday) was the date of the final Ace Climbing Competition for 2009 (and my final Ace Climbing Competition before I head back to Canada).

This month's competition was held on a Saturday afternoon, as opposed to the typical Thursday evening, because we needed the extra time. I get the sense that year-end competitions are usually a big deal at Ace, and if so this year was certainly no different.

Ji-hyeun had sent me an sms earlier in the week telling me not to forget about the competition because I could win many prizes. Prizes are definitely a new aspect of Ace competitions for me, but Ji-hyeun still hasn't learned that my life essentially evolves around the next competition of any kind, and so there was no chance I would have forgotten either way.

This time I finally got a chance to climb in the same team as the incredible Yun Gi-yeun. Gi-yeun, so I've been told, is a professional Korean sports climber (climbing outside with ropes, etc.) and today he took no more than two tries to finish any of the routes in the competition. If you remember, this is the same climber I wrote about a while ago who completed 8 laps of a 100 move route, for a warm up.

After the climbing competition, the real fun began. Ji-hyeun and Choi had planned three fun games for even more chances to win prizes and have more fun.

The first game was a team speed relay event. Each of the five teams selected three members to take part in the relay. The first leg of the relay involved a beginner member following a short course and then tagging any body part of a waiting intermediate level climber. The intermediate level climber then set off on another short course to tag the leg of an advanced level climber, who in turn set off to the finish as fast as he/she could. Of course Gi-yeun was my team's final competitor, and even though he climbed his route without using his feet, we still won by a full second.

Next came the slacklining event. Choi strung up a low slackline between two walls, and numbered off sections of the line for the competition. The confused expressions of the climbers in the picture below gives you a clue as to just how little Korean climbers practice their slacklining compared to climbers from The West.

(Yun Gi-yeun, in the orange and white shirt, and some of the other advanced climbers contemplate this strange new contraption in the climbing gym.)

This part of the competition also had a bonus section, in which everyone, even those climbers not competing, could win a prize by correctly guessing the winner of the competition (the climber who makes it to the furthest zone, marked by the white tape).

(Han-song, in the black tank-top, and the other climbers look on with interest during the Ace slacklining competition.)

I was too busy taking pictures of everyone to actually practice the event myself, but I noticed that none of the climbers could make it more than two steps without wobbling wildly, and tumbling off the line soon afterwards.

I had learned to slackline by practising on a suspended cable I found in a playground near my University a few years ago. While I am by no means an expert, I was pretty certain I had a good chance of making it a few metres down the line without falling. This knowledge, combined with the fact that I didn't really know the full names of any of the athletes competing compelled me to vote for myself as the winner.

I ended up getting second place, and narrowly missed first place by one step. One of my friends expressed mock anger at my not having practised, because if the other climbers had seen my relative poise on the webbing they all would have voted for me. It mattered not though, because the winning technique seemed to be stumbling forward awkwardly, as fast as you could, and hoping that you lucked out and hit the rope at a far number before taking a wild fall (see below).

(Another one bites the dust during the Ace slackline event. Check out Gi-yeun's expression on the left.)

Next came the one-footed paper pick up. That may not seem difficult, from the title, but there's a catch - you have to pick the paper up with your mouth, and the one foot is used for standing.

(Here Choi explains the rules. Stand on one foot on the wood. Crouch down and pick the paper up with your mouth, and then stand back up again without touching any other body part to the ground.)

Below, my friend, the "Man In Black" (yes, I'm referencing a movie, but no it did not feature Will Smith) shows you how it's done.

(Step 1: Marvel at how inflexible you are/how far away the paper seems.)

(Step 2: Hurt yourself getting down even further, only to become flummoxed by how the paper has not gotten any closer to your mouth.)

(Step 3: Dislocate your hip and knee to get your mouth within three inches of the ground by quickly jerking your head down as quickly as possible.)

I also voted for myself in this competition, and I almost won again, but I fell over on my way back up, with the paper in my mouth. I'm going to practice this at home and fly back over to Korea next Christmas, just to win this event.

(Of course, what would an Ace Climbing Competition be without a big group feast at the end?)

The end of an "era" of Ace Climbing Competitions. Time to say good-bye. One last picture though...

(Na-ra, "fighting!")

Episode 36: In Which DFM Goes Bouldering In Bukhansan

During this visit and my last visit I only managed to make it out to the mountains to climb twice (once each trip). I was hoping that I would be able to make it out at least two times this visit, but all of the Ace trips since my leg burning fall seemed to be multiple day camping trips, and I have been too busy lately to be able to afford to lose a weekend climbing. Fortunately, Ji-hyeun brought to my attention a half-day bouldering trip to Bukhansan (the large Park just North of Seoul that I used to hike frequently my last visit, and where I ran the half-marathon) that Ace was planning to take, and I jumped at the chance to not only get a second climbing trip in, but also my first serious outdoor bouldering experience.

Apparently the Ace climbers had just recently heard about the bouldering at Bukhansan a few weeks ago from a foreigner. I was rather surprised since I had known about the bouldering there for some time.

Speaking of KOTR, back in May I went to the outdoor climbing wall at Boramae Park with Perry. Just before I was about to leave, an American from Idaho came to the wall. His name was Tyler (I think), and he told me he was on KOTR as well. Just this week Tyler decided to start climbing at Ace, so it was quite a surprise to see him again on Monday. But I digress...

Obviously I had a good time bouldering, but my words could not do justice to the wonderful afternoon, so instead I'll show some pictures.

(Choi setting up the crash pads, while the other climbers have a "safety meeting." This reminds me of unionized road crews back in Alberta.)

(I know some crazies tried to climb up that mammoth boulder on the left, because I could see the chalk marks on all the "hand holds," or at least where someone thought there should have been a hand hold. Thankfully decided to stick to the baby boulder on the right.)

(Some of Ace's veteran climbers on a V2/V3.)

(A break for lunch. What would a Korean climbing trip be without a feast?)

(I hate when the hardest move is the first move.)

(Choi and Rina sending a V3.)

(A fun, overhanging V3.)

(Not even Choi could figure out the finish of this route.)

(Here, Perry's friend who climbed with me and Perry in the Boramae Park post, and whose name I still haven't learned, shows classic bouldering form on yet another V3.)

(Of course we all went out for a big meal afterwards. This is the same restaurant I've been going to with Ace for some time, but I finally figured out the name of this meal: Dalkhanmari.)

And thus ends another great day in Korea.

Episode 35: In Which DFM Helps The Government Of Seoul, And Becomes An Alien

Last Thursday Elise had to meet a friend, so we couldn't meet after work like we usually do. This week she tried to make up for it by taking us to the Ddeok Cafe to celebrate my birthday. The Ddeok Cafe is, like the name would suggest, a restaurant that only sells ddeok.

As long time readers will undoubtedly know, ddeok is essentially rice that has been compressed into sticky, chewy "cakes," which are surprisingly delicious and come in a variety of shapes and sizes. When you think that rice is eaten so often in Korea the name for "meal" is the same for rice, it seems counter- intuitive to then have rice for desert let alone make a restaurant to sell it. Then again, Canada has an obesity rate four times higher than that of Korea, and the restaurant was packed.

After the one week remembrance celebration of my last birthday I went to Ace to take part in the November climbing competition. Unfortunately I forgot that I had taken my shoes home last Wednesday to climb at Summit and that they were under my bed when I left in the morning. Ji-hyeun was kind enough to let me borrow a pair of rental shoes from the gym, but I think they were about a decade old, and the soles had started to petrify. Needless to say, it wasn't the best competition I've ever had, but it was fun nonetheless.

* * * * *

On Friday I finally got around to picking up my Alien Registration Card (ARC), which was supposed to have finished processing on Monday, but I was too busy all week to pick it up. Actually, I was not too busy, I just didn't want to go.

After picking up my registration card I was asked by a woman to fill out a survey about the experience of foreigners in Korea. I had read the results of this same survey given in spring, and I wasn't sure how six months could make a big difference.

While taking the survey I did notice some flaws though. It took me about half an hour to complete because I actually thought carefully about each question, but after I finished I was left wanting to answer more questions. For instance, how can I accurately give my opinion on the quality of "living in Korea" when the category involves water quality, neighbourhood cleanliness, house quality, etc.? I love the neighbourhoods, and while the houses are small, Americans and Canadians are spoiled with the mini-mansions they call bungalows anyway. However, the tap water literally disintegrates my gums and I've had to be extra careful about not using the tap water to brush my teeth. If I want to give high marks for the cleanliness of the streets and low marks for water quality, how can I do that without averaging the two scores out and making it look like nothing was overly good or overly bad?

And then there was the section for "comments," which didn't exist. I'm not sure how the government is going to know how foreigners think the problems can be solved if they don't let us tell them. After all, surveys don't fix problems by themselves.

My night wasn't done there though. You may remember the MEC Chuseok party back in October when we went to Paju. At the end of that night, Vanilla's swing dancing instructor friend gave us all an introductory lesson to swing dancing. Well, today he was throwing a party at his house, and so Hyenii and I decided to accept his invitation (I'm always up for Korean food).

Hyenii had followed me to the Immigration Office so that she could come with me to the party. I asked her if she could find any signs for the Immigration Office leading up to it from the subway. She could only find one tiny sign in Korean, on the large sign out front, with fifteen other small signs for other companies in the building surrounding it, but nothing leading up to the building that would give us directions as I expected, and yes I'm still bitter about it.

Speaking of bitter, the trip to the party would have taken less than half an hour on the subway, but Vanilla insisted on driving in her car because she didn't like the smell of the people on the subway. I'm not trying to single out Vanilla here, or even Koreans. This is a world-wide problem that I absolutely hate. It seems that as soon as someone makes a little money, he/she all of a sudden thinks that he/she is too good for public transportation. Well, listen people, you're not too good, in fact driving your car in a city with what I consider the World's best public transportation system makes you nothing but a douche bag. That half-hour trip in her car car wound up taking over an hour and a half, because about a million other douche bags decided that they absolutely needed to drive their cars too.

As for the party, it was of course great, once we finally got there. Delicious Korean food + Korean friends has been a recipe for success that has never failed my since I first got lost and taken out for dinner way back in March, and it didn't start now.

Episode 22: In Which DFM Is A Mime, And Becomes A National Hero

On the five minute walk from the subway to my house I pass no less than three hair dressers. For the first few weeks I was comfortable in my fresh hair cut, and naively felt I would not need to learn how to get a hair cut in Korean from one of them (my hair cut the last time at the Sauna was procured with the help of Lee). However, for the past two weeks I've felt my hair has been getting a little shaggy. Even still, I had let it go this long, but on Thursday I caught Sticker Girl trying to flatten down some of my wild curls that were sticking out worse than Alfalfa's cowlick, so I figured that I could wait no longer.

While I did not know how to say "make me handsome please," in Korean, I did at least know how much my hair cut would cost. A number of weeks ago, one of the climbers at Ace had received a new hair cut and he told me it cost him $8, and that it was the same price everywhere. When I told him in Canada it would cost him over $16 he nearly fell off the wall he was climbing.

Back to today. When I came in to the shop it was empty and the two stylists jumped up out of their seats in surprise (I'm pretty sure I'm the only foreigner they've seen in this neighbourhood). I had planned to stumble through some awkward Korean, but settled on just holding my hair out and making a cutting action with my fingers. The message got through and they had me sit down in one of the chairs.

The stylist asked me if I understood Korean (in Korean obviously), and I responded "a little." It's funny, because whenever Koreans tell me they only understand "a little" English, we are usually able to have a basic conversation. Up until now I've always been saying I understand "a little" Korean, but know full well that if they ask anything more complex than "hello" I'll be lost. However, my studying has really been paying off and I have had quite a few brief conversations in Korean the past few weeks. I can even understand what is being said fairly well, even if I cannot always answer, so I might actually be justified in using the phrase "a little" as a response now.

In Canada, I usually get my mom to buzz my head with a pair of cheap electric hair trimmers that barely work. While I was confident the young professional could make a reasonable approximation of the "roughly even" template left over from my last shear job, I was not sure how I would tell her what I wanted done.

When she did ask me in Korean how I wanted my hair cut (at least I think that's what she asked, all I could understand was "hair") I respond by showing her a half-inch space between my fingers. I assume she took this to mean I wanted it short, but since I heard her say "a little," in Korean, she could also have thought I only wanted half an inch taken off. Either way I wasn't too worried, as my hair was only about an inch long to begin with.

In the end, things worked out well and I'm happy with the results. And what's more, I'll be free from Sticker Girl's fussings for at least another three weeks.

Today was a big day for another reason as well. Some time ago I wrote about trying to memorize the song Superman, by Norazo. Well, it's been about two weeks since then, and after "studying" every day I can finally announce that I, DFM, have memorized and can sing every word of the song. Even though I'm probably the only foreigner to have undertaken this monumental task, I'm fully aware that it is still not likely to help me get a date. That said, the boys at my school will think I'm a National Hero, and that's all that really matters isn't it?

Of course, this means I need a new song to learn. Do not worry though, last week I noticed a really catchy song playing at Ace, and I have copied it on to my thumb drive MandDFM lent me. It's called 달이 차오른다 (roughly Englishised as "tali cha-o-leun-da"), and is sung by the indie Korean band Jang Ki-ha and The Faces.

Now you're probably thinking that I couldn't possibly give you any more good news than that. However, I have a special offer only for those readers who are reading this blog on an electronic image producing device.

For the past many weeks I've been working on my endurance at Ace climbing gym and today I had a major breakthrough. There are two routes at the gym which I have hitherto been unable to complete. One is only 32 moves, but takes place entirely on the horizontal roof of a cave, parallel to the ground. The other is a monstrous 100 move mega-circuit. Normally I lack the endurance to complete even twenty move routes but my hard work and diligent practice must have paid off, because today I was able to finish both of these routes from start to finish.

While I am both happy and relieved to have finally completed the 100 move route (it's Korean name literally translates into "100 Move Route"), I must be careful not to get too confident. Ji-hyeun can complete all 100 moves and then turn around and head the other direction all the way back to the beginning. And, as if that weren't incredible enough, the strongest climber in the gym (who was away on a climbing trip during my last visit to Korea) can go from the start to the finish, and then back to the start again four times. That's 800 moves! He'd better watch himself though. I've really been improving, and in another two lifetimes I think I might be able to match him.